Busy is an Understatement!

Wow! It's amazing how much is done in one day at the Isaksen house. Many of you know that we are blessed to have Amanda help us out 20 hours per week. Doing everything on my own literally breaks my back. Anyway, she hasn't come over since Wed. and Drew has been at board review. Meanwhile back here at home...Joe has been sick and CLINGY...did I say clingy? What I meant to say is that he would permanantly attach himself to my body if possible. He has been up for nights and nights in a row now. Drew and I are so tired that we both feel throbbing sensations under our eyes and stomache cramping...which I don't know if thats sickness or stress? Hmmm. I've been trying really hard to make sure that all he has to worry about it school this week. Normally he is great about pitching in with the kids and house. The kids have been in a rut lately with all of the changes. The holidays are chaotic for them and drudge up loads of crap (emotionally speaking). And if you can remember we had a nanny for a while that we ended up giving the boot. NOw they are adjusting to a new person. Changes and being stuck inside are taking its toll. Homeschool has been non existent over the past few weeks as I just cannot go on. The children fight me and are very oppositional. I decided not to fight back on this as I want them to embrace learning. Whatever. If I thought they would do any better in school I would send them in a heartbeat. Truth be told, they are not remotely ready for school. They can't even cooperate with the MOPS leaders for 2 hours every Other week. I just get frustrated trying to teach them and feeling like a failure as they continue to do all that is possible to remain DEtached from Drew and I. I feel isolated in the fact that no one that I currently know could possibly fathom what it is like to pour your heart and soul into children who outwardly show you with their behaviors that they cannot accept the love. I wish I could be normal and enjoy getting together with other ladies while the kids play. This is not a pity party though...I love my darlings even if they can't really love me back. (I'm speaking of my older 3). I know the Lord blessed us with them to be in our family and I guess I just have to trust that He will lead us as we continue to parent them. IN other news, I would like to report that I aced my 1st 2 classes and am going strong in my second set. Phew! It is a little strange getting back into a student mode. However, it is a nice diversion from mothering. Anyways...sorry for the vent...but you are the one who decided to keep reading, so there! Hope everyone has a great weekend...and no, there will not be an Isaksen sighting at stake conference this weekend. Drew has board review and even with his help it was a nightmare last time. However, we have BYU tv, so that will have to do. Good night all!