Supports

Hello blogging world. Yes, I am still here....and it hasn't been 2 years since the last post. Things have been up and down around here and busier than ever. DJ has a new mental health therapist and has had 3 appointments so far. My first impressions or gut feeling is good. She has experience in all the right areas and on the case plan we opened up the possibility for tons of wrap around services if they become needed. It feels good to begin building a support team around our family. Dr. Tim (our med management expert) is amazing! We've been working with him now for over a year. We've got IEPs and 504s in place for kiddos who need them. My connections academy students are learning well here in our home environment, although laundry and "made from scratch" meals are suffering a bit. I have been collecting all past medical records in order to build notebooks for each kiddo. This way I can just hand over the notebook and have the specialist do some reading and photocopying as needed. We are getting new neuro Psyche evals on DJ and Megs. How am I doing? I am up and down. I've cried more in the past 2 months off and on than I have in my entire life! Part of that I am sure has to do with coming off some of my own medications. I fight with feeling of guilt for overreacting or not creating the reality of the "vision" for how I always thought my family would be. I'm frustrated by behaviors I cannot teach or love my kids out of doing. I am disgusted with the amount of structure and micro managing that my kids call for. However, I know at the end of the day that God has given me all that I need to be the parent these kids need me to be...even if that does not match the vision in my head (yellow school bus, warm cookies coming out of the oven, multiple trips to the park, dance and sports lessons, etc). I know deep down that Drew and I are doing and have done our very best to provide for all of their needs. We will not give up. Something that I have really enjoyed over the past few weeks has been getting out and cleaning up the yard. The kids have been excited to play in the dirt. The other day while while DJ was raking he said "When I'm serving others I am actually serving God"...he said it with joy and confidence. These are moments to remember that some of what we are trying to teach is coming through. Despite my bad back, the fresh air and new hobby of beautifying the yard has been a blessing. I always like a job that has visual evidence of change....it feels great to accomplish something. I have planted hardy spring flowers, mowed, weeded, rearranged boulders, fertilized, etc. We also got some winter veggie seeds planted inside to get starts going for the garden. Drew promises to get the garden dirt ready soon. I even planted flower seeds inside that stated on the package should be planted indoors 8-10 weeks before the last frost. I am looking forward to better weather....to 12 mile bike rides with my friend Heather, and to fresh foods from the garden.